Daily Dope: - The Great Anti-VIP movement

Now I understand the importance of wearing VIP brand of undergarments in the biggest democracy of the world. I was stopped from riding my bike on the road (for which I pay taxes) as I was not wearing the local brand of underwear named VIP. I though underwear’s won’t make a difference when I am on the Indian road, or as a matter of fact matter on Malawi, France, Nigeria, South Africa, Philippines, China, Zimbabwe etc but they do. This realization came while I was waiting for our some honourable minister’s (pronounced as sinister) and his VIP (Very Illiterate person) convoy to pass through as it was heading for some impotent work. The COPS were carefully checking everyone’s underwear to see who is a VIP and who is not. Later I came to know that in my honourable’s mister convoy everyone wore a VIP which I don’t wear. The cops were literally checking everyone’s undergarments just to see who is a VIP and who is not.. and they say we have higher crimes in developing nations.


(I am not wearing a VIP ... where can I get one)


The VIP movement was started not so long ago in the psyche of the people who started giving more importance to their servants, who worked hard for them and made sure that their masters are safe. The servants took care of the law and order, management of their roads, bridges, agriculture and all the entities of an economy. As a reward they were given the VIP chaddis (undergarments) as a mark of respect for taking care of the important work. They were also given some special privileges so that they can make their master’s work easier. The movement got twisted and the masters became servants and the servant’s masters just by the virtue of VIP chaddies (underwear). Now these so called public servants known as politicians can do whatever they want just because they are VIP branded. This includes brining the whole city to a halt just because they are passing from the same streets at the same time which are most crowded and important This blog gives the non VIP’s a full plan of action to prepare for a situation when a VIP is passing from the same area as you are:-
•Carry an empty bottle:- You are right, this is because the VIP always has a bigger bladder than you. Women just stay inside .. Public toilets are a concept for which Mr. Jairam Ramesh is still clarifying if it was toilet or temple.

•Carry your nail paints:- don’t need to carry the empty bottle you can carry your nail paints. If you have to go for a date, important meeting and don’t have time ....Indian roads will surely give you enough to at least Paint your nails.

•Playing Cards:- Carry playing cards, the Autos are so close by that you can make friends in the nearby Auto. Earn while on a run ...oh you can’t even gamble.

•Alcohol:- Use your eagle view to see the closest liquor shop..time will pass in no time..and may be some Cops will become your close friends
So many people face not just discomfort but have also lost their dear ones all to this stupid practice of stopping the traffic when a VIP passes. Doesn’t it make them easier target with so many high tech guns and snipers now days? If all this doesn’t help rise and shine for an anti VIP movement before our sinister ministers start eyeing even the last piece of cloth left on your bodies. Together we can and we will make a difference at least in our under wears if not the country ...
The power of VIP....

Get your VIP now! ...

Love at the First sight

On my flight back to home .. i was more nervous than happy .. every Indian girl I saw in the flight , a flight from London which has more Indians than usual, reminded me about those old Hindi Songs ".... Isiliye mummy nain meri , tujhe chai pe bulaya hai" ( Thats why my mom has called you for tea...in other words to meet the guy her daughter is dating) . Some of them were really good looking nice face, beautiful eyes and long black hair. A sight that can take you in a flash back ... with colours not black and white ..a picture that reminds you of the good old days with perfect love , romance marriage and Kids. A nice happy sight and you start thinking . But then there is a catch you cant just look at the face, and then the unholy journey starts where the brain stops thinking and manliness starts "thinking" . You go deep down in those oceas where doing a Breast stroke was your dream from childhood. All the movies that you used to watch when parenst were away came back into your present like a flash light. But its all love , love at first sight with just a couple chozen ones every day.

The plane lands and so the hope of talking to at least one of them for more than one minute. People are always sadist , they love to interrupt just when you are about the crack the best of the lines ever said in the history of love , love at first sight. And again you go home thinking at least should have taken the phone number.

Not even a week passes and you are already done , 3/3 failed to impress you and you think just three more to go. But why dont I get to meet those chozen ones whom I left on the way back. Arrange marriage is such a nice flexible , strong system which gives both men and women the equal right to chooze sometimes just after a meet of 2 min. It does nt happen in the most cases but than again some people are again the chozen ones. Their fate is decieded even before they had eaten the first "laddoo" ( a sweet) and with that sweet taste in the mouth .

Now comes the official blind date , with the whole family . Have you ever talke on the climate of Dilli for 2 hrs and ya same thing again and again sometimes from the father and sometimes from the brother. You are in one of the most un-cool clothes cause your mom watned you to look youger and slimmer , and then the climate discussion. Then someone will start boasting about theie relatives in US , huh when will they understand we all have some Indians everywhere , we are the gloabal ones:) .

Then after a while you are given order and request depending on how irritted your parents are with you as you are not showing the best of your moods. You go on the side table and talked to the most clothed women you have ever seen in the hot weather of 45degrees. Man how to check ourt if she has the best you again dreamt from when you were a child who had just learnt swimming. The deal is cancelled cause she was looking for someone more sensible and mature and thast the roumour you hear when as per "they" say you cancelled the deal. its funny .

One more think dont forget to lie if you dont , you dont wanna face your parents again. They will make you feel like you are a Ram who just turned into a Ravan .

Next week one more experience gets added to your credit. You feel wiser and smarter. You feel focussed and realise the whole reason why Mahatama Ghandhi fought for freedom . Its the best thing that can happen to anyone and everyone again thinking of those beautiful faces i saw .. taking my flight again....